Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
