he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
