It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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