is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
