I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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