Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
