You're my little dorito
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize