Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
