It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The ass gains better be worth it
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