I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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