Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
