Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
