I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Come share oat with me in your robe
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
