I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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