can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize