3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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