Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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