Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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