I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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