there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize