If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
