THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
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he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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