I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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