we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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