you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
