You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize