we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
