i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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