i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
