do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
