I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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