Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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