38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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