dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
