I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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