Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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