I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
