I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize