I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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