Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
