In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
