Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
