So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
