Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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