maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
sex in a hospital.. check
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
