thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
