We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
