If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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