then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
