if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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