So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
