You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
