She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
