:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
