I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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