had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
