i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
